An Open Letter.



Dear Alice,

I hope you've gotten over Ed's new album, I hope your hair has gone back to it's knotty roots and I hope you realise you're just as good and wonderful as you think you are. 

It's been a good day today, you've managed to turn it around, truth be told it started off a bit shit. You woke up at 7 after 6 hours sleep to practice for a presentation that ended up getting cancel. So home by 9:30 and bored through the past 7 days of not leaving the flat. Something needed to be helped. I'm happy you went out, spent time in the sun; yes the sun, it was sunny today. You haven't listen to sad songs once and you've tired your room and managed to open the jar of pickled cucumbers on your own. I'm not sure how others judge their day but I'd say yours has gone pretty well. Oh and the bag of Doritos you're finishing off while writing this hasn't been too bad either. So all in all a good one. Not really that much to complain about in your above average Thursday. 

But this isn't a note to self to remember the good times, well no I mean it kinda is but it's more of a not to remember not to forget the good times. Don't let the stress of uni, life and yourself in general get to you. It will worm its way in I mean I'm not sure, have you met you? Everything gets to you eventually. So just be sure to remember. I know the good days are the days you came to uni for and the days you'll add on to your phone with the vintage filters to make yourself feel that tad more indie then you are, so remember them, for me, do it for me. 

You've been finding it hard lately, theres been a lot going on up under that ginger hair of yours, and all you've kinda wanted to do is write about it, however it seems that writing about things you really want to is getting pushed down the list of uni work, presentations, mood boards and recommended reading, so I can see where you're struggling on that one. 
Maybe if you listen to some Ed then you'll get motivated. 

(Further note to self, don't do that, you're sat in the sun for an hours and had one cider, you feel knackered and your legs ache just as much as your eyes. Don't sit there and listen to sad songs. It isn't what you need right now.
Basically also turn off 'Somebody else' by The 1975, it isn't doing you any good either.)

I find that you have good traits and also some bad ones, you snore when you sleep, you can't handle your wine, you put the milk in first when you make your tea and you over think everything. That's the chosen subject of today, your over thinking.
It is something you have had for as long as I can remember when, thoughts started to form in your brain and your opinion along side next to them, everything serious or emotional gets thrown around at least 15 times with different scenarios, different out comes before the most stupid is pushed to the back at the last minuet and the most sensible makes it way all the way through to the front.  This is for most of the part the option that leaves you not getting the thing you kinda want, or the thing choice that leaves you worse off. it's a another habit you've had for a while. but you still put everyone before yourself. So in your overthinking head. It's the best solution to not hurt someone else or the best solution for some other person other then yourself.
I know you've had long thoughts and chats with friends about this, you all agree you do it but why? Why are you putting other people in front of you in that little self help queue you have so happily joined. I can assure you that not every solution results in the chosen idea so why does the serious responsible one sneak through just before the one you really want to appear arrives.

I feel I may have gone on a bit of a rant then, but like I said I over think everything and well that doesn't exactly come with few words.  I just want you to know that you are allowed to put yourself first. Just a few times, Let your own and first most selfish idea get to the front and swan on through. Lets see where it gets you. Be bold.

See theres this thing that I have been being to try, I want you to be selfish, for just one day, do the thing you want to do first. Don't worry about letting other people down or hurting their feelings, you're not a bad person so the things you end up doing won't be that bad any way. But just do want you want and what you need for one day. Make interesting, don't tell me when just do it, on a random Wednesday or a Friday afternoon do what you fancy and tell me how it went. I'll be here to listen. 


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